I still remember it like it was yesterday when they told me you were no more. The pain still feels fresh, the wound has not healed, it still hurts today like it did the first time. I still ask myself why, how come, what it. Tears still roll down my cheeks every time I think of how we lost you, how it happened. I know we all live to depart one day, but for me what hurts the most is the horrific and senseless manner in which you departed this world. You see I keep imagining your humble soul, I keep picturing your smile, the tough face you always pulled. I still keep wondering whether on that fateful day you screamed, if your cried (for I had never seen you cry no matter what situation you were in, you always acted tough), did you shout, did you beg for mercy, were you scared? But knowing you, you probably must have just kept quiet when you met your fate because that’s just who you were, you just never liked making noise, you liked keeping to yourself, you never liked being the center of attention, you never asked for help even when you needed it the most, you never complained even when you were in pain, you never wanted anybody to pity you let alone know that you were hurting, because that’s just who you were. You toughened up even when you didn’t have to.
To this day, I still remember how I used to tease you about how extremely intelligent you were, but you always shied away to claiming it and acknowledging it. I swear on my mother’s grave I had never met a girl so effortlessly beautiful, very intelligent yet insanely obsessed with fashion and unapologetic about loving to have fun the way you did.
You got the best marks in class, but you would never raise your hand to show that you knew the answer. This is because you did not like appearing like you were better than others, that is just who you were, a humble, unassuming, and reserved person. You never wanted anyone to know just how smart and brilliant of a mind you were.
What a colorful, bubbly soul and a lover of life. I remember how much you loved parting and how much you loved dancing! I still remember from the top of my head the songs we used to dance to, especially those Nigerian songs we loved dearly, what a happy soul you were! I still remember how much of a fashion trendsetter you were. I remember like it was yesterday the fun times we had, the stories we used to share, the events we would attend, the songs we sang along to and the fashionable clothes we rocked!
You were an all-rounded individual with a personality larger than life and you were loved by so many. Your departure has lost a huge gap in our lives. I will forever miss our drives together and our chats. I will forever miss your smile and your fashion sense. You have left a huge gap in my heart, but I thank you for the love you gave me, the support you gave me when I had no one to turn to, thank you for being genuine and open with me and most importantly I thank God and the universe for having made our paths to cross. You remain in my heart now and forever more; I will cherish the moments I shared with you and carry you in my heart ALWAYS.
Love; Tshepo Mosweu